blog.maryahornbacher.com

“Well, after this I should think nothing of falling down stairs.” - Alice to the Cheshire Cat after falling down the rabbit hole.

1. Dan 01.10.07.07 / 1am

   This is amazing. Looks so good!
2. Marya 01.10.07.07 / 8am

   Hey all,

   So here it finally is. Hats off to Jeff, who stayed up way too late finishing it.

   To all you new visitors, this Whatever, Whenever thread is where you go when you just have that thing you’re dying to say, or want to read what somebody else is dying to say, or whatever, whenever. If it’s about eating disorders, head to the ED thread, or about other mental health, to the MI board. I myself (the author) spend most of my time on this and the Books board.

   Happy chatting.

   Cheers,

   Marya
3. Ashley 02.10.07.07 / 7am

   I LOVE the new blog. Well done Jeff and Marya! So for whatever whenever stuff, this should make you guys laugh. I tripped over a curb yesterday, landed on my ass (I broke my tailbone a few weeks ago; not funny) and split the crotch of my pants (f’ing hilarious) and had to wear scrub pants that they gave me at partial with this really cute dressy shirt (hideous) oy vey. Have a good day everybody. Goal for today: staying upright, and staying away from evil nasty tricky curbs!

   Ashley
4. Mike 02.10.07.07 / 9pm

   Sweet. I’m glad to see that its finally up and running. Should make things a lot more productive around here.

   And Ashley, you are priceless. You painted a rather funny picture there with that one. So, yeah, watch out for those tail bone hating curbs. They are out to get us, no doubt.

   
5. Marya 04.10.07.07 / 4pm

   Heads up, guys:

   I’m heading off to write for a spell, so you won’t see me here for a while. Madness is in production, more news on that later, and I’m off to see what I can come up with next.

   A note about email. To my regret, the days of my personal replies to each and every letter are done. Demand is overwhelming, and no sane person could keep up and still write, let alone live a normal life. I will, as always, be honored to hear your responses to my books. But as you’ll find if you write, you’ll get a response asking you to send reader comments after the new year.

   The response also asks writers asking for help or advice about eating disorders to please bear in mind that I am an author, not a mental health professional. I am not equipped to give you personal advice. I wish you all the best in your recovery, and I hope you find something in what I’ve written to help you on your way. But the best thing you can do for yourself is get in touch with someone who really can help. Be well.

   I’ll post on books and life in a couple of weeks. Everybody, cheers.

   Marya
6. Randi 04.10.07.07 / 10pm

   Hey there! Just wanted to say how happy I am to have found this site!!! Marya…I adore “Wasted” and just finished reading it for like the tenth time. FYI theres someone posing as you on myspace…So awful!!!!Grammatical and spelling errors left and right!!! You can hunt the page down just by searching under Marya Hornbacher. Hope you can get that POZZZER in trouble!!!!
7. Ashley 07.10.07.07 / 3pm

   Mike- I’m glad that made you giggle.

   I am pissed about my tailbone because I didn’t get to ride my horse this weekend. I went to Bemidji to visit the fam and my horse is there and I miss being able to ride him every day. But it was a good weekend. My mom is finally done with chemo!!! Her hair is starting to grow back, and she is looking better and, most importantly, feeling better! She has to do 5 years of this pill form of chemo but the hard part is over!

   So I got my nose pierced yesterday and i’m already regretting it. It feels like a crusty booger on the inside and on the outside I can see it out the corner of my eye. And it itches.

   I hope everyone is having a good weekend!

   Ash
8. Jessica 08.10.07.07 / 5pm

   Guys, the new site looks great. Ashely, I hope you’re doing well. It sounds like you’ve at least reatained your sense of humor, and that’s always a good thing. Keep it up, girl.
   Mike…I miss you.
   Couldn’t be more excited about the new book, Marya. Check in when you can.
   Jessica
9. Mike 08.10.07.07 / 7pm

   Jessica,

   Ive missed you too. You should call me. I tried you the other day and left a message. Or post back on here and let me know how you are doing.
10. Rachel 10.10.07.07 / 3am

    u guys are hysterical!… ash n mike… u make me laugh
11. Cara 12.10.07.07 / 12am

    Wow, I just now found the new site, how slow am i? Lol …anyway it’s amazing, I love it! I need to post more often!
12. Samantha 12.10.07.07 / 5am

    I finished reading ‘Wasted’ last night for anout the 10th time too - whenever I get a bit panicky and feel old habits creeping in, I use it to keep me grounded.

    How it’s taken me this long to finally search for the site I don’t know but wanted to say Marya that you’re an inspiration.

    Also, having broken my tailbone and fractured my spine and ribs falling off my horse in March i can really appreciate where you guys are coming from.

    Sam
13. Cara 13.10.07.07 / 1am

    I saw someone on here say someone is posing as Marya on MySpace - there’s also some random thing on Youtube, if you just search for Marya Hornbacher, someone made a short film type of thing using a part of “Wasted.” It’s actually done sort of professional looking but I have no idea what it’s from or if Marya knows about it.

    Has anyone else seen this?
14. Mike 13.10.07.07 / 1am

    thanks rachel. its nice to know that some laughs can be had here once in a while.

    Cara, In my experience Marya hasn’t really shown a great deal of concern about things said about her on the internet. Someone posing as her may not be as easily ignored, but it was only myspace so im gonna guess she wont have much concern over it. And the video has been mentioned and linked here plenty of times and it is indeed a rather terrible video. I dont believe that Marya has commented on it before though. Im curious about it nonetheless.

    Sam,

    sucks to hear that you had a bad fall. hope you’ve healed well from it. i know what its like to have a long rehabilition from injury. and im glad to see you posting here, its always nice to see new faces. dont be afraid to post more of your appreciation and comments about wasted and your eating disorder experience in the other threads.

    :]
15. Cara 13.10.07.07 / 8am

    Hi Mike,
    Ok thanks for letting me know Sorry for posting about it yet again if it’s already been mentioned alot.

    I have a question, would people here mind saying where they’re from? I live in Arizona
16. Marya 15.10.07.07 / 3pm

    H’llo, my friends,

    Ok, and here I’ve been bitching about my Poor Broken Wrist. Pathetic! Broken tails and ribs! I’m really very wimpy. And, however, I’ve had the MOST bizarre orthopedist…ok, so, I happened to be in the psych ward when he came to visit my PBW (happens every August, the psych ward, nothing to worry about, not ED related, whatever) and, thinking he was very clever, he made a joke about crazy people, which was quite funny, and I laughed, appreciating the fact that he knew crazy was not the end of the world. Then he made another crazy joke, and then another, and eventually I began to think he was kind of an ass, and at some point he asked me if I had a job. I said I was a writer. He laughed uproariously and said not to be silly. Startled, I said, Well, but, see…and he said, That’s not a job! And I said, but see, eight hours a day, things like that, very job-like, and he said, But you’re not a REAL writer! It’s not like you have a BOOK deal! At this point, the psych staff in the room starting saying, Well, but, ah, actually…and I got the giggles and said, No, of course, you’re right, I certainly have not got a book deal, and have not written any of my three books [there is actually a book of criticism called “Why I Have Not Written Any of My Books,” which book I adore]. And as I was leaving, he cried quite merrily, “Now don’t hang yourself with that Ace bandage!” and I felt that was perhaps one too many crazy jokes, but there you are.
17. Marya 15.10.07.07 / 3pm

    So, writing up north was smashing, and I hid in my room in a chair and wrote and managed not to go outside for four days, which was unwise, and I was very stiff, as I am old. It was so nice, and quiet, and free of emails and traffic and cat boxes (of course, Jeff perhaps felt it was not as fun that he had to do everything in my absence), that I am turning around and running screaming back up there on Friday to write some more. Soon I will have a thick Minnesota accent (and no, I do NOT, as yet) and wear a cap that advertises a feed company or a tractor, as is common up north. However I am very fond of the Main Street Cafe, where the waitress knows what I want and brings it to me and doesn’t speak to me at any point, which I take as a sign that she likes me.

    It is rainy and foggy and freezing cold out here, and I keep crowing about how much I love it, and everyone keeps telling me how much I hate it and complain in February.

    Oh! I went to see the Royal Shakes. Co.’s two-part production of “King Lear” and “The Seagull” at the Guthrie, with IAN MCKELLAN!! Who was astonishing, obviously, and if the company is making a stop where you live, you must throw yourself to the floor and beg for tickets no matter what. I especially liked it because I devoted an obscene amount of my education to Shakes. and Lear, and Checkov, so I got all the jokes.

    I am going to go read Crime and Punishment for a little relaxation before dinner. Oof.

    Cheers to all, back in a couple of weeks
    M
18. Mike 15.10.07.07 / 8pm

    “and doesn’t speak to me at any point, which I take as a sign that she likes me.”

    I laughed out loud when I read that. Thank you for that. ;P
    And Im curious if there are any moments of tacit communication through eye contact.

    Its nice to know that you are getting to write in the circumstances you most appreciate. :]
19. Shelbie 15.10.07.07 / 9pm

    Ian Mckellan is fabulous! I definetly loved him in Lord of the Rings!

    I am totally stressed right now because of the school newspaper. I have four stories due the 17th, two of which I haven’t even started.

    Good News: I have a whole page to myself!! This is my first year in journalism, and my first story got center spread, and my next stories all get their own page!!

    :DD
    P.S. Sorry for all of the bragging. I am just really excited.

    -Shelbie
20. ashley 16.10.07.07 / 7am

    Thanks
    Jessica! I am doing much better. I go through this little fuck it tantrum every day where I just want to give up and “drop out” of treatment and go back to using symptoms, but I know where that gets me and I can usually talk myself out of it. Or call someone and have them talk me out of it.

    I love this time of year. My facorite season for clothing!! I busted out my leg warmers, and fall tights and cute comfy-cozy sweaters. And fall colors are sooo my colors

    Enjoy your day everyone.
21. Kate 16.10.07.07 / 1pm

    Wasn’t there a show many moons ago called “Kids Say the Darndest Things.” Or something of that nature and correct spelling. Bill Cosby, right? I don’t know.

    Bottom line: Doctors need one. (a show, that is)
22. Shelbie 18.10.07.07 / 3pm

    Featuring:
    -You’re too young to be bipolar.
    -You’re not thin enough to be anorexic.
    -You’re not sick enough for treatment.
    -Meds will fix everything.
    …and many more!
23. Mike 19.10.07.07 / 3am

    I would watch that show with some delight. Although, Im sure all of you including Marya could talk about some professionals that were actually quite enlightened and very helpful. Anyone want to tell me about the “good doctor”, as it were?

    On another note, here is a video that I’ve always been fond of. I don’t even know how to describe it. The music is pretty good though. Hope you like.

    http://maniacworld.com/pink-of-perfection.html
24. Mike 20.10.07.07 / 10pm

    Hey,

    I just want to thank Marya personally for being such an amazing person to email everyone back for so many years. I hope anyone else who ever had communication with her over email can say thank you aswell. And that she doesn’t have to feel even the slightest bit bad about ending her diligent responses to any future emails. I know that she deserves a break from that much obligation more than anyone. So, thank you, Marya. You are far more amazing that you sometimes give yourself credit for. It means a lot that you care so much.
25. Jennifer 22.10.07.07 / 10am

    Um, Marya, that doctor was a complete a**hat. If I were you, I would be quite tempted to send him a couple of your books. But, then again, why waste your books on such an atrocious idiot.

    Oh, and PLEASE don’t say you’re old. If I recall from checking a while back, I think you are around my age, maybe a year older. I’ll be 32 this Friday, 10/26. I’ve yanked two grey hairs out of my head in the last year and have noticed the tiniest little lines under my eyes.

    I commented about this to a friend and she said - oh, premature aging, symptom of your past anorexia. So of course, my vanity is now insisting that I rub anti-wrinkle cream under my eyes twice a day.

    I refuse to be old at such a young age.

    Oh, Ashley - I just bought the cutest sweater dress at Target. I can’t wait to wear it with a pair of footless tights and heels before it really gets cold. Then I can wear it with boots!
26. Ashley 22.10.07.07 / 5pm

    Jennifer- Cute! I love sweaters, sweater dresses, sweater anything pretty much. And tights, and leggings, and leg warmers, and arm warmers…I love fall. Fall colors look great on me. Oooh I just complimented myself. Progress baby!
27. Tatiana 23.10.07.07 / 2pm

    I love fall so… and all the hoodies and sweaters and hot drinks and other warm and comfortable things that come with it :).

    Fall has always been my favorite season, actually. I love seeing the multicolored leaves strewn over the ground — love the hint of chill that comes to the air, without being extremely cold, like winter — love even the vague scent of rotting greenery that always comes when I walk through the paths behind my house. I try to focus on the beauty around me, and all the little pleasant things, when I’m having a hard time… and it works often enough that I keep on trying.
28. Mike 24.10.07.07 / 10am

    Hi Ashley,

    Tell me this….do you like sweater vests?!?!?

    I don’t really, but I love wearing them for a comedic effect. And of course you just complimented yourself, I’ve seen pictures of you before. You’re really beautiful. So, no surpirse.

    Tatiana,

    I work in a coffee shop and in the mornings when its cold I wear a hoodie as i drink the days first americano and as the baker and i make breakfast food and baked goods we get warm by standing by the oven. The only thing missing is a big comfy sofa and you’d love it here.

    I love fall too. Means a lot of rain so I don’t get to climbing as much, but this week looks promising so Im getting pretty excited. Up here on the coast the season is perfect for all kinds of mushrooms to be growing everywhere and I’ve been waiting for some dry weather to take my camera out and snap some shots. Ill post up some pictures when I get them on my comp. Maybe looking at not only the beautiful things around you, but things on your computer too can work for you. Im glad to hear that you’ve got some form of solace.
29. ashley 27.10.07.07 / 8pm

    Mike- I do enjoy sweater vests. I have a couple of them.

    Anyway, I am going to this sober halloween party tonight! I’m excited. My first sober halloween party and the first time I have been around a shit ton of people in a long time. I have sober social anxiety on top of all my other woes. Haha. It will be interesting. Hope everyone is doing well. Happy halloween!

    Ash
30. Jennifer 28.10.07.07 / 9am

    Ashley - that’s fabulous that you complimented yourself. I think we should all recognize those positive things about ourselves and give them their due credit. I think that’s party of self-care. And self-care is the biggest thing I’ve ever done that I can tell has made a difference in my self-esteem.

    I know I made a joke about the anti-wrinkle cream in my earlier post, but in the last year I’ve made it a habit to wash my face every night before I go to bed and put on moisturizer and some body lotion that smells good. It’s a small thing, but I’ve noticed a difference in my skin. It makes me feel good to take care of myself and to know that I look and feel healthier.

    I totally understand the sober social phobia. I have had it before. When I first started going out sober, I found it easier to have a beverage in my hand - a coke, a shirley temple, something. That way, people think you are drinking so that won’t say anything and make an issue out of it.

    I also had a friend who would play pool with me. It gave me something to concentrate on while I warmed up to being in a crowd. And when I was feeling more anxious, he’d sit on the sidelines with me and chat.

    It looks like the party was last night, so my thoughts on the matter are probably late. But I hope you had a good time!
31. ashley 28.10.07.07 / 3pm

    Hey Jennifer- the party was a blast! It was a sober party so there wasn’t even any alcohol there. It was nice and made it much more fun actually. The social anxiety didn’t even get in the way too much either!

    Today I am cleaning my house and there are so many things I’d much rather be doing. Gaaah. I hate cleaning. I hope everyone had a good weekend

    Ash
32. Marya 30.10.07.07 / 8am

    What? Ashley’s lying. She said the party sucked. The thing I’ve eventually found is that you find your sober friends, and then you throw a party. Works for me.

    Halloween tomorrow. Jeff has bought bags and bags of candy and is eating it all. I loved Halloween as a kid. I continue to believe that I have had the best costumes of all time: I went as the Foshay Tower once (at one time the tallest building in Minneapolis, a landmark; I covered a refrigerator box with thousands of little windows, cut the top so it made a point, and put a toilet plunger on my head for the antennae), and once as an Evil Butterfly (six-foot wingspan, spray-painted black and orange, and I myself clad in a black cloak with my face painted white), and the next year as an Evil Caterpiller, which costume remains my one triumph of engineering, constructed of six boxes turned upside down, strung together with a rope that wrapped around my waist, each box with four legs that went down into roller skates, such that I rolled along on 24 roller skates, towing my boxes, which I’d covered in fuzzy grey fabric, through the wild and crazy streets of Edina, MN.

    In other news: book drama. Then up and down all night writing in my sleep. I dream I’m writing, then wake up pissed off that my writing has been interrupted, then when I actually get up in the morning I forget the whole thing. Why don’t you keep a notebook by your bed, you ask? Why, in fact I do. And it is occasionally useful, but most of the time filled with gibberish.

    Taking a meditation class. I, of all people, seem an unlikely candidate for meditation. It’s GREAT. Try it. Also try yoga. I find it really enjoyable to actually breathe, for a change.

    Off into the beautiful day.
    Peace,
    M
33. Mike 31.10.07.07 / 9pm

    Marya,

    the Evil Caterpiller costume sounds hilarious. You deserve as much credit for the concept as you do for the engineering. Im left wondering if I should expect to see an Evil Pupa costume in the future. Im keeping my fingers crossed that I don’t though. :p

    Do you ever write down stuff about what you were dreaming about? I used to keep a notebook by my bed for that purpose, but I haven’t for a while now. The movie “Waking Life” inspired me to become more lucid in my dream experiences. Im by no means as psychonautical as some people are, but writing about dreams and using recurring dreams definitely help me become more aware of my dream state. Anyway, if you haven’t seen I recommend it. And meditation is definitely a good thing. Its cool to see that you are enjoying it. And Im not really surprised that it’s something you’ve found rewarding. And you hit on one of the most useful tools for meditation of just relaxation, and that is to just concentrate on ones breathing for a few minutes a few times a day. When I take breaks at the top of a cliff or boulder when Im out climbing by myself I often remember to concentrate on my breathing to lower my heart rate and conserve energy. It certainly helps to heighten my visual perception, colour and focus. And considering Im doing this on a cliff in a coastal rainforest I tend to think of the experience as meditative even though my eyes are wide open. I figure that if Im at the kind of place that I would have chosen to imagine while meditating then it might be just as rewarding for my peace of mind and body. Anyone else meditate or do something like it?
34. allison combs 02.11.07.07 / 7am

    hi all! mar, i have never tried yoga but it sounds great. breathing is a problem lol ’cause i have panic attacks. i am also in the process of moving which is stressful….my 10 yr. old daughter who thinks she is a diva doesn’t believe she has to lift a finger to pack. BS!! back to more breathing haha so i don’t lose the rest of my mind. one funny thing is that my friend gave me a t-shirt that says “i am out of my mind….please leave a message” lol halloween was good. i normally don’t eat candy but love those caramel apple suckers….also a sober party sounds great as i am new at sobriety. it is amazing how everything looks fresh and new when i don’t drink. have a great day everyone!
35. Mike 02.11.07.07 / 7pm

    hey allison,

    could you elaborate on why breating is a problem related to your panic attacks?

    i knew a girl who used to have bad panic disorder and would often panic upon waking. she’d usually sleep in a cocoon with her blanket over her head which would leave her breathing an unusual amount of CO2…which is known to bring about panic attacks in those prone to them. The last I heard from her she had found Aikido - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aikido - which helped her a lot she says.

    Anyway, Id love to hear more from you on your experiences. :]
36. Mike 02.11.07.07 / 7pm

    http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/184

    “Neurologist V.S. Ramachandran gave a talk in March on how some startling syndromes tell us about how the normal brain works.”

    so cool. and TED is pretty rad too. I think I linked to some stuff in the past here regarding it, but check it out as much as you can. Its just rad. :p
37. allison combs 04.11.07.07 / 10am

    hi mike…i guess i just start worrying about things and start hyperventilating instead of trying to calm down. the more i try to calm down, the worse it gets. my hands and feet tingle and it feels like i am having a heart attack. i’ve had them upon waking too and it is freaky! i take klonopin for it. i will check into what your friend says helps. thanks for the info!
38. allison combs 06.11.07.07 / 8am

    so i had a bad night last night and i want to know if anyone has a funny anecdote or something? i will start. after i relapsed last night my kids and i were sleeping…it was 3 a.m. and i heard my screen door rattling back and forth….and a MEOWW. i have 3 cats and knew it HAD to be one of them. i looked out my front door window and here is my furball Tigger, hanging onto the screen for dear life like he was spiderman or something! i laughed my a** off and brought him inside. i am glad i have my kids and pets because they are great therapy! lol
39. Mike 06.11.07.07 / 10pm

    Allison,

    sucks to hear that you had a bad night. And Tiggers little story certainly made me smile. i dont have any funny anecdote or anything, but I do have an interesting link. Sure, its quite a morbid read, but in an educational and insightful way.

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21643646/

    its titled “What we learn from the dying”

    let me know what you think….even if it is just to tell me that Im a jerk for posting this instead of something funny. :p
40. allison combs 07.11.07.07 / 7am

    hey mike,
    no u are not a jerk at all! that really made me think and also gave me chills. especially the last story about the “locked-in” syndrome. that is huge for me because i always seem to be straddling the fence….doing things to slowly chase death or questioning my worth of being here…blah blah blah….but i know i am worth it and it is just a matter of concentrating on the healthy side of me. i can’t change what has happened to me in the past and of course i do not want to be a shell of myself…how dull is that?!?!? plus i have a wacky sense of humor as well…sarcastic mostly but hmmmm….a little on the dark side too. have a great day and i will think of something to send later. i gotta get my son to his bus stop.
41. Lauren 07.11.07.07 / 9pm

    Marya,

    I just wanted to tell you it’s really refreshing and exciting to see an author keeping in touch with her fans.

    I like reading the little quips about your life and am excited for your future book!

    Cheers!
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43. Diana 16.11.07.07 / 5am

    Whatever, Whenever huh? Catchy name.
44. Maggie 20.11.07.07 / 4pm

    Hi all- I havn’t posted here before but I have been a huge fan of Marya’s works and find the conversations on these walls to be very interesting and informative….. I plan on adding my opinions/support in the near furtue.
    I wanted to make a very random mention pertaining to The Center of Winter- I was listening to a song be Patty Griffin- “Long Ride Home”- and immediately felt a strong connection to Claire’s loss of Arnold in the book. Both the somber, droning sort of tone and the theme of an all-consuming sense of ‘void’ reminded me of Claire’s emotional journey back to life- and like the lyrics states- how she deals with “all the time to think about him”. Truthfully, the song could be applied to any related situation and this was most likely me being caught in the moment- but I thought I’d share……
45. Bryan 21.11.07.07 / 8pm

    Forgive me if this was answered someplace, but I just finished reading Wasted. Amazing book and story, which was given to me by my girlfriend who has ED.

    The book is/was dedicated ‘to Brian’. Who is Brian? I did not see him mentioned in the book?

    This book has been the only gift my girlfriend has given me, and it truly was the best gift anyone has ever given me.

    Thank you Marya!

    Bryan
46. cat 22.11.07.07 / 4pm

    Bryan - Brian was Marya’s cousin. She does mention him in the book…when she falls on the ice, she says something about feeling guilty because Brian wasn’t able-bodied (or fully able-bodied - I don’t think she’s specific about this) and Marya’s own physical problems were of her own doing (so to speak).

    Wow…just read this back and it sounds a tad presumptuous. Speaking about people I don’t know, I mean. I didn’t mean it to come off that way…hope it answers your question though!
47. Marya 24.11.07.07 / 9am

    hallo all!

    I believe we have some new lurkers out there. People, you must start speaking up! And have the rest of you fallen into the john? hee hee! Oh, that was so totally tacky I can’t even believe it. My own wit amazes me.

    So, seriously, how was Thanksgiving? Mine: the usual roaring volume level, the cackling and eating—so fun to eat, everyone! good for you, too!—we had a blast. Which is pretty lucky for me, I know. It’s a rough thing to come to terms with the old family for all of us. But worth it.

    Brian. Yes, as Cat says, he was my cousin. He had muscular dystrophy, died when he was 25 (I was 24). He was my closest friend, all my life, and I expect he always will be the closest person to me in the world, dead as he is. (Again with the morbid! He would have thought it was hilarious.) When he died, I pretty much lost it. You’ll read about it in Madness. I kind of wandered off to London and got lost. He died when I was on book tour for Wasted. I didn’t deal with it well. I think dealing with the death of someone close to you is hard at any age, of course, but when you’re very young it really breaks you up. I know people who’ve lost parents that young and even younger, and I can’t imagine the void that leaves. I think it really shapes who you become; maybe you sort of wrap yourself around that loss, eventually accomodate it, but it’s always there. Anyway, I have a picture of Brian on the windowsill above my desk. He’s the funniest person I’ve ever known, and while some days I think about how hard it is for me, and the rest of our family and his friends, to have lost that laugh, most of the time I am just glad to have that laugh ringing in my ears.

    Holidays upcoming. What are people doing? Last year Jeff and I defected to New York and spent the holidays in restaurants, avoiding the universe. My family, wonderful as it is, is beyond complex (there have been a mindboggling number of marriages, divorces, remarriages, divorces, remarriages… and the number of stepsiblings, their spouses, and their infinite kids is totally overwhelming, and very hard to shop for). We missed them, though, so this year we’re staying in town.

    Work! Again with the work! About two weeks ago, there was some sort of eruption of paper, and I have been piled up in drifts of it ever since. Press materials and galleys for Madness are about to go out (aack! galleys are the pre-pub copies of a book that go out to approximately everyone and their dog) (no, they’re not available to readers, sadly), so there was a bewildering amount of material for that, and then I seem to have gotten myself embroiled in an actually very cool conversation with a bunch of critics & artists on art…a little vauge, yes, but interesting as hell. I’ll post the link when the final dialogue is published.

    And, ok, I have discovered iTunes. No, I’d never been there before. Yes, I am totally divorced from the real world. However, having found it, my life is complete, and I have been maniacally downloading music for days. I now am the author of some of the finest mixes known to man. Take that.

    So: favorite songs. Top five.

    Love,
    M
48. allison combs 24.11.07.07 / 12pm

    hi mar,how are ya? my holiday was a mess. i attempted suicide due to a lot of things….and was PISSED i woke up the next day. (this was mon. prior) but children services is now involved which is best…my kids are at their fathers which is the best thing. i didn’t know how to stop all my crazy thinking and od’ing was NOT the answer…..now i know this……so my guess is…they talked to my son and i..i was honest about everything. mon. they are going to talk to my daughter at school. i think the kids are gonna end up staying w/ their fathers and i will be in long term treatment. which is for the best. i am scared to pieces…afraid i don’t deserve to get better but i have to for my babies…they are 10 and 7. i have a lot of support though and am SO grateful for that…and this site…it really helps….i am sorry about Brian…i have lost numerous friends due to suicide,cirrohsis,cancer,etc. it is hard at any age but yeah i am 31…so it affects ya anyhow….i am glad your holiday was fun! actually fri. i went to my second family’s house (friends i consider fam.) and it was loud,many people, and i DID eat yummy things and kept it. i am glad u are hooked to itunes…were u asking what our top 5 faves are? i like numerous songs but mine are:Dreams by Fleetwoodmac, Message to Myself by Melissa Etheridge, All Around Me by Flyleaf,When You’re Gone by Richard Marx,and hmmmmm…Possession by Sarah McLachlan. hugs to u and i am waiting excitedly for Madness to come out! Take care, allison
49. Celia 24.11.07.07 / 1pm

    Tori Amos rocks. Download “Silent All These Years” and “Winter”. These were the songs I listened when I first read Wasted.
50. Kate 24.11.07.07 / 2pm

    iTunes is addicting. Insanely addicting.

    1. Polite Dance Song by The Bird and the Bee
    2. Kill, Kill, Kill by The Pierces
    3. They by Jem
    4. The Story by Brandi Carlile
    5. The Flowers by Regina Spektor

    I could go on and on and on. My infatuation with music costs me a lot of money. I pretty much jump on the chance to give anyone a list of songs I like, so you can only imagine how happy I was to see your post.

    Thanksgiving was my birthday. Funny story, I have a twin and he forgot it was his birthday. He kept referring to it as “Kate’s birthday” rather than “Our Birthday.”
51. Vanessa 25.11.07.07 / 5am

    Hello to everyone -

    I admit I’ve been a lurker, but I couldn’t resist adding my favorite songs.

    1. Pissing in a River - Patti Smith
    2. Come Pick Me Up - Ryan Adams
    3. Laid - James
    4. Making Pies - Patty Griffin
    5. Strange Condition - Pete Yorn

    That is all.
52. Bryan 25.11.07.07 / 6pm

    Cat and Marya thank you! I appreciate the quick response both reminding me of where he was in the book, and what he meant and symbolized. You guys are the best hope you have a very happy holidays!
53. Saskia 26.11.07.07 / 9am

    Wohooo, another lurker! But as Vanessa said, “fav songs” is very tempting, so here we go:
    1. Radiohead: Creep
    2. Damien Rice: The Blower’s Daughter
    3. Damien Rice: Delicate
    4. Damien Rice: Grey Room
    5. Vanessa Paradis: Bliss
    And yes, one could say that I am a total sucker for Damien Rice.
    As most of you, I could go on forever about my fav songs, and I found it kinda hard to make a list of only five. There are so many good bands and artists out there!
    And by the way: Marya, I haven’t been on iTunes yet either. Sometimes I feel as if I am from Mars although I am only 27!
54. Mike 26.11.07.07 / 11pm

    These are my top five as of right now:

    Night Rider - Stan Getz
    Chestnut Park - Pelican City
    Bluebird - Oneself
    Pieter Botha - Ali Farka Toure
    Bamako Blues - The Bob Brozman Orchestra
55. cat 27.11.07.07 / 9am

    Fun! OK, my five (which would probably change on an hourly basis) are currently:

    Rufus Wainwright - Hallelujah
    Fleetwood Mac - Gypsy
    The Carpenters- Superstar
    Damien Rice - The Blower’s Daughter
    Nirvana - Lithium
56. cat 27.11.07.07 / 9am

    Ohhh…I just read the thread back and now I want to add Tori Amos, ‘Silent All these Years’, and Regina Spektor, ‘Samson’…gah.
57. Maggie 27.11.07.07 / 8pm

    Wow…. everyone here has fantastic musical taste….. you’ve introduced me to some good songs that I had never come across before.Anyways, just a thought to put out there- does anyone else occasionally find themselves perplexed and mystified with the power of music/song. Sometimes it seems absurd how “3 min.24 sec.” of sound could evoke such strong and diverse emotion\al reactions. It seems to be the most efficient of all art forms in touching us in that way- and also one that successfully spans all ages and cultures. Along these lines, has anyone been involved in or able to elaborate on music therapy (in the clinical sense)?
58. Diana M. Pomerantz 28.11.07.07 / 7pm

    Currently I love the following:

    1, Simon and Garfunkle- Homeward Bound
    2. Sheryl Crow- Strong Enough
    3. The Cast of Rent- 525,600 Minutes (Is that even the damn title?)
    4. The Donnas- Take It Off
    5. Tracy Chapman- Revolution
59. Diana M. Pomerantz 28.11.07.07 / 7pm

    Thanksgiving? I was working at Walmart cashiering from 11-6. I had an express line of like 30 people looking moody as hell. Haaaa it kills me really. I’m like HAVE A GREAT THANKSGIVING… as they grumble at me. Hillarious really.
    Tom (recently not boyfriend, but still someone I care for dearly) made me Thanksgiving dinner. It was really good. He lit candles and made a slide show with his computer hooked up to the TV of pictures he took of me recently. Then he made a CD of Sheryl Crow and Alanis Morissette music… two of my all time favorites. What a guy. Our only other companion was “Sarah, the bitch”… (the dog). She’s a sweetie but had really bad breath. And she kept begging for food.

    Also.. a filling broke in my mouth on this day and so I was having some interesting oral pain… so my dessert was the taste of Orajel in my mouth. Ironically the pain is gone now… but whatever.

    Apparently my family (mom, stepdad, and brother) in Florida had a civilized time and apparently they all ate a lot including Tabby, the cat. I worked Friday ,…. and that was a mob scene in Wal Mart and I busted by ass all weekend too .. and crashed on Monday.

    *Hope everyone had a cool time*
60. Alexis 29.11.07.07 / 9am

    I’ve just gotta add my favorite songs.

    Kaki King — My Insect Life
    Simon and Garfunkel — Sound of Silence
    radiohead — creep
    Led Zeppelin — Rock and Roll
    AFI — Dancing Through Sunday

    And Cat — the Blower’s daughter is an amazing song. We used it to this ballet in the production of Othello at my school, and people in the audience had tears in their eyes. :]
61. Cara 29.11.07.07 / 11pm

    1. Evanescence - Breath No More
    2. Evanescence - All That I’m Living For
    3. Evanescence - Away From Me
    4. Celine Dion (YES, Celine. Leave her alone - Je Ne Vous Oublie Pas
    5. Celine Dion - On Se t’aime A Cause

    I’m so random. My top two favorites of all time are Celine, and Evanescence. Could you get more difference between two singers? But i love them for different reasons, i guess it all balances out. lol
62. cyberwaif 30.11.07.07 / 10am

    Mmmm tricky going for- random at this particular moment in time:
    Julia Fordham-towerblock
    Black-just grew tired
    K D Lang-constant craving
    Suzanne Vega-Tired of Sleeping
    Andreas Scholl-How sweet the Moonlight

    of course ask me in 10 minutes and it will have changed again lol
63. Vanessa 02.12.07.07 / 3am

    Diana:

    Your family ate Tabby the cat???

    
64. Jill 02.12.07.07 / 6pm

    Hi, Marya! I’m so excited that you have a new book coming out. Just in time for my birthday, too. If you tour around the midwest, I will come out and see you.

    Top 5 Songs
    1. Stratford-On-Guy by Liz Phair
    2. Hangin’ Around by Counting Grows
    3. 3 Libras by A Perfect Circle
    4. Benjamin by Veruca Salt
    5. Mad World by Gary Jules

    …which brings me to the best movie ever, Donnie Darko! What are YOUR top 5 songs AND movies?

    Happy Holidays!! Jill
65. Saskia 03.12.07.07 / 8am

    top 5 songs: see above; top 5 movies:
    1. Dead Poets Society (makes me cry everytime I watch it)
    2. Once Upon A Time In The West (Must See!)
    3. A Clockwork Orange
    4. The Shining (Stanley Kubrick is the greatest and Jack
    Nicholson scares the hell out of me lol)
    5. Amadeus (love The Laugh!)
66. Cara 04.12.07.07 / 1am

    White Oleander
    Girl, Interrupted
    When A Man Loves A Woman
    Return To Me
    Walk The Line (which i went to 11 times in the theater. LOL)
67. Diana 04.12.07.07 / 2pm

    Lol Vanessa!! Omg I just read that and was like… oh no, not that poor plump kitty of my mom and stepdad’s. They’d never eat her… at least I hope not.

    LOL
68. Diana 04.12.07.07 / 2pm

    Top movies?? Ooooh ooh ooh where do I start??

    1. Gone With the Wind (LOVE IT!!!)
    2. Good Will Hunting
    3. Notting Hill
    4. The Out of Towners (older version)
    5. Forrest Gump
69. Diana 04.12.07.07 / 2pm

    Scary guy broke a 12 pack of coke on my line the other day at Wal Mart after he was pissed off that he had told me to double bag it and realized how stupid his logic was. Who the hell puts cases of coke in bags??
    He cracked the thing in half on purpose so hard it made me jump and then it sprayed everywhere.
    NOT COOL… I was like WHAT THE HELL lol…

    That was worse than last week when some lady asked if I had a trashcan behind my register and put her chewed gum in my hand!!!!

    LOL what I do for $9.00 an hour …

    Grrrr… I have to go back to college.
70. Diana 04.12.07.07 / 2pm

    :) :) :)

    What can I say, I just felt like randomly grinning at all..
71. Marya 05.12.07.07 / 10am

    GUM in your hand?? Oh how incredibly gross. What is wrong with people? (We, of course, are all perfect; there is nothing wrong with us. I always signal. Really I do. Really…)

    Ok, Mr. Mike has now elbowed me enough times about this, and there will be another website change: Jeff has been ordered to find a new blog provider that allows people to post separate threads (duh, good idea, obviously, hello). This will occur sometime late this month, be up by January. Sorry, we’re slow around here. We spend all our time cooing over the dogs. Not really. No. Not really.

    So I’ve been gasping and trying to emerge from the work avalanche. I seem to be making some headway. A cool thing to come of us: Houghton has gotten me to do a loooong Q & A about Madness/life/etc, which I’ll post as soon as it’s copyedited. I read over it, and it turns out I’m really weird and answer questions weirdly; who knew?

    Have recently met so many cool people that my faith in humanity has surged ahead. On the whole, I have faith in humanity; I find this useful, as a human. Good to like your company.

    One way cool woman: poet who accosted me at a recent reading/craft talk (which was really fun, and I wallowed in all the people getting riled up about writing). The poet has an eating disorder. She was going to talk to me about poetry; eating disorders being the asshole bastards they are, it became clear that hers had taken over her life and was destroying her poetry. I said, maybe the poetry’s more essential than the eating disorder. She said, maybe. She went inpatient today. Everybody send prayers and good vibes to her for health and healing and the return to poetry.

    In a very useful turn of events, because I’m so career-savvy, I have been overtaken by a long poem. This is what I am spending day and night on. This is not the novel. The novel pays my bills. The poem will never see the light of day. The muse is being an impractical bitch. I’m having a blast.

    You people have very good musical taste. I am listening to the new collected Simon and Garfunkel as we speak. I think I know every word to every song. So I am singing by myself in my office all day like a crazy lady.

    Off to the poem…
    love,
    m
72. Marya 05.12.07.07 / 11am

    I am a nitwit! Two notes about upcoming: Soon after I can manage to get this separate-thing going, there will be a whole Madness page about various. I say this on the books board, but am saying it here: There will be a long Q & A with yours truly, talking about the book and various other. I think you’ll like it. I sound like a lunatic. But there it is. This can’t be new.

    And cities I know so far for tour! and the few set dates:

    New York (April 9—pub date)
    New Haven, CT, at Yale (April 10)
    Boston
    Toronto (April 14-15)
    Washington, D.C. (we think)
    Minneapolis (April 17)
    Los Angeles
    San Francisco
    Portland
    Seattle

    Will get dates and locations as soon as I know them.

    Cheers!
73. allison combs 05.12.07.07 / 12pm

    hey marya what’s up? cool u are getting some dates…rock on! please wish the poet awesome thoughts/karma….i go in shortly…..find out friday how long the wait is…i find it IS true when the negative crap overtakes me it does affect my poems….so i am glad u are having fun with the bitch…give her hell and u know it will come out great for you. i like wrestling with my words as well. hugs to all and will keep u posted!
74. Brooke 05.12.07.07 / 3pm

    *New lurker emerging from the shadows.* I’m impressed with everyone’s book/music tastes - such great stuff I need to check out. I can already tell I’ll be compiling a list of some of these on my next spree at the bookstore. I’m always looking for something good to read and usually end up just picking things at random based on titles and whatever description is on the back (which is how I ended up with a copy of Wasted in the first place, come to think of it).

    Marya, I do hope you make it here to DC on your book tour. Looking forward to the new book.

    Best,
    Brooke
75. Shelbie 05.12.07.07 / 8pm

    @ Jill

    I am going to get on my knees for this.
    God bless you fot mentioning Donnie Darko.
    I am so obsessed with it.
    Haha
76. Jill 07.12.07.07 / 5am

    Damn spammers.

    Yay for Donnie Darko.

    I read some Crime and Punishment last night. I had a copy from an undergrad class, but I don’t think I ever actually got through it. Anyway, I am about 60 pages into it and find it intriguing. I can see why my 20 year old self probably didn’t get into it, though.

    My novel for NaNoWriMo is sitting untouched. I am having the kids revise theirs and write query letters, but mine is just sitting there. I should go back to it and follow my own teachings.

    Can’t wait until there are separate threads to post about writing and random stuff.

    I see that there are no midwest stops on your book tour. Maybe an Iowa University would be good to break things up? Or perhaps Des Moines?
77. Mike 07.12.07.07 / 5pm

    some great 3d sidewalk art.

    http://www.moillusions.com/2007/12/julian-beevers-new-3d-sidewalk.html

    im not so fond of the commercialization of some his pieces, but i guess we’ve all got to pay the bills somehow.
78. Vanessa 08.12.07.07 / 1am

    Marya, I think you really need to come to the Southwest on your book tour! How about Tucson or Phoenix? Please?
79. Cheap Generic Valium 09.12.07.07 / 12am

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80. Shelbie 09.12.07.07 / 8pm

    Freaking spammers.
    Any way to delete those?

    Aww Marya, you’re not coming anywhere near El Paso, Texas. I want to see you so badly. “/

    I might even be able to convince my parents to take me to somewhere close, like Chicago.

    o.O
81. Shelbie 09.12.07.07 / 8pm

    One more thought:

    I want to apply to Interlochen, and seeing as you have been there, what should I add to my portfolio to add that extra oomph? I want to apply for Creative Writing, but I want them to say “Oh damn, this girl is good!”

    Any advice?
82. admin 10.12.07.07 / 7am

    Hey all,

    GOD, I am so sorry about these spammers! I will try to check the administrator thingy every day and get those off of there.

    As for tour, to my dismay, I have absolutely no say in where I go. They send me where they think the book will do best, and where there are the most people/publications/stations interested in talking to me. They have some kind of magical formula that picks where they’re going to send writers.

    Other than that, visits are mostly lectures, and those are almost always set up through universities/colleges. If you’re hooked up with one of those, the best I can suggest is that you start nagging someone there to invite me for a visit.

    Monday monday…

    cheers!
    m
83. Diana 10.12.07.07 / 2pm

    Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah lol

    Okay sorry I had to do that. Gotta let it out every now and again.

    So I drove in snow for the first time the other night. I moved out to Colorado from Florida recently. So now I am a big time cab and bus rider. I scare easily.. what can I say??

    I want to go back to college, but I am not sure what type of career would make me happy. *sigh* I hate working at Wall Mart… because people are so miserable and bitchy about the lines. I lift so much crap there to scan, etc. I work with nice people and all, but seriously it can get so boring and I am so tired of looking at produce codes!!

    Any cool career suggestions for a sensitive, logical person??

    Hmmm ??
84. Mike 11.12.07.07 / 2pm

    Look spammer,

    you aren’t going to get a single person to check anything that you post if you just cover the board with it. And seriously, can’t you come up with a new line? And stop saying thanks as it doesn’t even make sense. I know that this is your job and that it pays your bill. Im not gonna lie, thats really got to suck. Knowing that what “work” means to you is spamming message boards must be really depressing. Do yourself and everyone here a favor and go somewhere else.
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86. Mike 11.12.07.07 / 4pm

    You know, I was just wondering about Britney’s nipples…

    On a completely different note, Tim Burton announced that he will be directing a half live action/half animated remake of Alice in Wonderland.

    http://www.boingboing.net/2007/12/10/tim-burton-to-direct.html
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89. allison combs 12.12.07.07 / 10am

    rock on about the tim burton thing! i LOVE alice in wonderland!
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91. cat 13.12.07.07 / 2am

    Ahhh…I love Tim Burton. Have you seen ‘The Corpse Bride’? Marvellous, marvellous, marvellous.

    Re: Alice in Wonderland, I read somewhere ages ago that Marilyn Manson was directing a version as well…or producing one. Not sure. Lily Cole was going to be Alice…which I thought was inspired, as she’s sort of kooky-looking, and the rest of the film was bound to be a tad strange. I wonder what happened to that version? I’m going to buzz off now and see…
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93. Brooke 13.12.07.07 / 8am

    Ahh..Taxi. Good choice Mike. That used to be my Windows startup music LOL It makes me smile for some reason.

    I’ve been wracking my brains trying to come up with a top five. Here goes (and this will probably change in the next 48 hours)
94. Brooke 13.12.07.07 / 8am

    Sorry…(PC acting up)…top 5:

    * The Best is Yet To Come - Sinatra
    * Blackened Blue Eyes - The Charlatans
    * Moon River Cha Cha - Henry Mancini (it is a Latin version of Moon River he scored for Breakfast At Tiffany’s, but I like it even better than the original)
    * Land of Confusion - Disturbed
    * Between the Devil & The Deep Blue Sea - Harry James
95. Jodie 13.12.07.07 / 6pm

    Great to read your writing here again, I’ve missed it! Tell your publishers Houston will be a great city to visit!:D It’s one of the largest cities in the country, many potential readers!! Be sure to let me know because I’ll be first in line! Keep up the good work, we’re cheering for you! Much love.
96. cat 14.12.07.07 / 7am

    Mike,

    Vincent is an excessively creepy young boy! Lovely short though. I loved being a ham when I was young…so tormented, so misunderstood! I had an argument with my Mum once when I was really small, and in floods of tears, shouted at her, “IT’S OK BECAUSE MY REAL MUM’S A PRINCESS AND SHE’S GOING TO COME AND GET ME AND SHE’LL BE REALLY MAD WHEN SHE FINDS OUT HOW MEAN YOU ARE!”

    That still gets quoted back at me even now
97. Mike 14.12.07.07 / 4pm

    cat,

    that was priceless. thanks for making me smile.

    glad you liked ‘Vincent’

    has anyone ever seen the film ‘Possible Worlds”?
98. Mike 15.12.07.07 / 11am

    http://maniacworld.com/Rachmaninov-with-big-hands.html

    Pretty funny recital of Rachmaninov’s Prelude in C Minor….with a little mechanical help to make the absurdly large chords actually playable.

    :]

    Nice site. Thanks!
99. allison combs 18.12.07.07 / 7am

    a poem i wrote last night:

    through this maze i toss and turn
    will i succeed or crash and burn?
    arms are healed, the scars have faded
    still old habits are hard to break
    i look in the mirror, see a shell of myself
    who am i? even i can’t tell
    layers of disguise by alcohol and e.d.
    also cutting is a form of release
    i tried to o.d. but woke up instead
    don’t have my kids, my heart feels dead
    thank God for friends and family
    i am learning to accept love and be free
    from the chains that i’ve placed upon myself
    now i know there is freedom from my own hell.
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101. Kate GC 18.12.07.07 / 6pm

     As long as people are in a poetry-posting mood, here’s one I’ve been sitting on for a bit. I had a lot of fun with making the lines run into one another–it made me feel a bit like I was falling while I was writing the piece!:

     Fall(ing)

     Red leaves bitter on the hard ground turning
     Colder in the morning as I’m walking in a daze
     Can’t remember where I was supposed to end up by now
     The cup of coffee in my hands has gotten lukewarm

     Take my hand run me through the sunlight trees laughing
     Like you used to when it caught you unawares
     Sneaking up behind me with your warm breath mitten fingers
     Covering my eyes as we both fell grinning to the grass

     Seems like every time I heard you singing with
     The radio up so loud, smiling it’s my favorite song
     You made my heart a home a hearth so filled
     With embers burning in your eyes the love we had

     I don’t know where to turn without your hands the darkness
     Swarming all around your whispered thoughts
     Without your eyes I’m blind to all around me
     I am living in a dream
     So close to waking I resist
     In case I might not find you
     Sighing it’s alright.
102. allison combs 18.12.07.07 / 6pm

     rock on ! keep writing…i know it helps me…..
103. Kate GC 18.12.07.07 / 6pm

     One other short but sappy romantic one, about a long-distance relationship (guess I’ve been watching too much Sleepless in Seattle again!):

     Two contrails cut across the sky tonight
     And met each other in a V of smoke like
     Transient shadows in the gathering dark
     And as I traced them with a finger
     I remembered you and smiled
     Thinking of how our vaporous voices met across endless blue
     So many times
     Even as the moon-rise burned our tired souls away
     We’d start again
     Always to find each other
     Meant to collide.
104. Kate GC 18.12.07.07 / 6pm

     thanks allison I will!!
105. Bryan 18.12.07.07 / 7pm

     Have the Los Angeles dates yet?
106. Mike 19.12.07.07 / 11pm

     Its nice to see people sharing their poetry on here. I tried writing a haiku the other day about brushing snow from the rocks so that i could climb on them, but instead i managed to distract myself with the wikipedia page on haikus. facinating history there.

     :p
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108. admin 20.12.07.07 / 10am

     Hey kids,

     Ok, looks like it’s time for a new post-yer-writing page. Cool. Jeff insists he’s going to get the new blog up this weekend; don’t hold your breath (he’s also supposedly wrapping about 40 million & 11 presents & doing a whole variety of mysterious things he seems always to be doing), but the new pages should be in place by the 1st. They’d better, because on the 2nd I’m bailing out of the city and going up to the lake to write in peace (and eat at the eternally fascinating Main Street Cafe). Because, yes, I am so terribly put-upon, sob sigh fling self on couch.

     What a nitwit!

     All’s basically crazy. Somehow it seems I am always saying that. Perhaps I should Look At This Issue. I have a killer therapist, she hates the word Issue as much as I do, it’s so nonspecific. What about concern, complex idea, crappy feeling/experience, muddle, knotted up thing, gnarly beastie, old bullshit I should have dealt with by now but must now deal with it because I’m so fking sick of it I could scream?

     That’s what I think.

     The holidays are awesome and very very complicated. Family. Need I say more? Love them in their weirdness, is what I say, after I finish screaming at how weird they are.

     Lately listening to:
     Julia Owen Youngs (so awesome; look for her spectacular song F**k Was I thinking, for a nice blasting angry song)
     Damien Rice (melt)
     Eleni Mendell
     The Weepies
     Mike Doughty
     and a little Ella Fitzgerald & Sarah Vaughn.

     Of course, having just discovered (as I said) i-Tunes, I am now the proud Mix Mistress of Serious Skill. You ought to see these mixes. Maybe I will get my shit together and post them on i-Mix. Because I am, as I said, just sitting around here with nothing better to do…

     Galleys of Madness coming this week!!! I don’t want to look at them. They will freak me out. But the prep for pub chugs along, and I guess I go chugging with it…

     More soon. Happy Christmas to those of you who celebrate it. Don’t forget to fking eat & not barf & actually enjoy it. Be bigger than the monster. It sucks.

     Love to all,
     M
109. admin 20.12.07.07 / 10am

     Totally forgot—upcoming on th 24th, a dialogue (whatever) between myself & a visual artist on the role of mental illness & creativity will be posted on: mnartist.org. Also, I’m thinking that I might put up a new page to keep abreast of what other stuff I’m publishing /writing these days. Will try.

     And I think I’ll be in D.C., and no dates yet for D.C. West coast dates coming soon. Sorry, nothing in the south/southwest this time out…maybe for paperback? I’ll tell the powers that be.

     M
110. allison combs 20.12.07.07 / 10am

     hi marya happy holidays to you and yours as well. also for posting be bigger than the monster…..it does suck. i am gonna try my damnedest. hugs!
111. Cypres 21.12.07.07 / 9pm

     Marya-

     For three years I have been looking for a way to contact you and say THANK YOU for the amazing work you have done, and for being brave enough to do it.

     I read Wasted when I was thirteen and it was such a… a treasure. Really. What an amazing thing to find. Proof that truth is stranger than fiction. And then The Center of Winter. Again, amazing.

     I cannot wait for Madness to come out. Really. I think you are such an excellent writer. I cannot wait to see what you have to say this time.

     ~Cypres
112. cat 22.12.07.07 / 3pm

     Hi all. I just wanted to reiterate Marya’s comment about actually eating and enjoying Christmas…after 11 years of Christmasses spent overeating, vomiting, not-eating, crying, feeling absolutely, utterly alone….this year, I have spent time with friends. I have been out for meals. I have eaten meals at the homes of friends. I have drunk wine. I have bloody well enjoyed myself. All those years and years spent listening to well-meant advice and not taking it…I only wish I’d listened sooner. But I’m certainly going to make up for those eleven years!!! Merry Christmas everyone. Recovery is possible. And wonderful. Not easy. But wonderful XXX
113. Shelbie 23.12.07.07 / 10pm

     congradulations cat!
     i love reading posts where people talk about how wonderful they feel. it makes me feel good about myself too

     hjappy holidays everyone
114. Tree 24.12.07.07 / 2pm

     marya —

     you could publish some of your poems….

     i bet they’re good.
115. Mike 25.12.07.07 / 3pm

     Sad note this Christmas. Oscar Peterson died yesterday at the age of 82. Here he is playing “You Look Good To Me” at the Montreux Jazz Festival, 1977 with Ray Brown & Niels Pedersen both on double bass.

     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKKpoCy0a5Y&feature=related

     :]
116. Celia 28.12.07.07 / 12pm

     Marya, do you know when you’ll be in Chicago?
117. admin 04.01.08.08 / 7am

     Hey everybody!

     So sorry the blog is wonky! We’re wrapping up the new site changes, and Jeff swears he’ll have them up by Monday. So:

     -There will be an actual discussion board, with threads. Like a normal website.
     -There are some cool new pictures.
     -I’ll be posting a regular blog, with a post about once a week.
     -There will be a BRAND NEW PAGE about Madness: A Bipolar Life. It’s got a few quotes about the book, a passage from the book, an interview with yours truly, and the book’s reader’s guide.
     -My schedule will be updated every time I get a new tour date set.

     You’ll have to make a login name to read the blog, but it’s obviously free etc.

     Monday! Jeff promises!

     Happy New Year, all!

     M